30 Things I Do As a Bereaved Parent

1. I wake up every morning and say hello to his picture on my night stand

2. I go to bed every night and tell him I wish he was here

3. I include him in all of our family pictures

4. I sleep with one of his favorite stuffed animals every single night

5. I talk about him every single day to his younger siblings and my husband

6. I hang pictures all over my home of him

7. I wear a necklace every single day with his picture engraved

8. I sign cards from all three of my children not just the two here with me on earth

9. I light a candle every October 15 for child loss awareness

10. I visit the cemetery where he is buried when I need a reset

11. I visit the cemetery every single holiday with my family so that he is included

12. I celebrate his birthday every year at a restaurant with cake surrounded by friends and family

13. I write in my journal or in the notes on my phone whenever I need an outlet or have a thought about him.

14. I ask those around us to please do an act of kindness in his name on his birthday

15. I share my story

16. I miss our future every single moment of the day

17. I hang his stocking every single Christmas

18. I buy him an ornament for the tree every single Christmas

19. I say I have three children when you can only see two

20. I worry about my children every night when they go to bed and ask him to watch over them.

21. I say his name any chance I get

22. I talk to him when I have big decisions to make or struggles I am going through for guidance

23. I believe wholeheartedly the white butterfly that flies around my house is sent by him

24. I watch his favorite TV shows even if I am by myself

25. I wear sloth apparel and have sloth things because it reminds me of him

26. I scroll to memories on my phone so that I can be back with him, if only for 20 seconds

27. I ask him to be kind and give guidance to friends, family and other children who have passed after him when they meet in Heaven

28. I have a keepsake box from his funeral and life that I bring out to remember him or when I need to feel closer to him

29. I wonder who he would be and what type of friend he would be

30. I miss and love him more with each passing second.

I could go on and on with the things that I do as a bereaved parent. If you are a bereaved parent or someone who is close to a bereaved parent what would you add to this list? Do you relate to the things I do? I am sure I can relate to your list along with others out there searching for clarity and answers.

Krysten